The heart of this story is absolutely true. It is an oddball story but I find it hilarious. I struggled with how to tell it, and a friend suggested I tell it from different perspectives. So here is the first scene of a play.
The specific dialog in the dentist’s office is imagined because I heard the story after the fact. The person, and their purpose for texting the dentist, will be revealed in a later scene.
Scene 1
A reception area in a pediatric dentist office. A receptionist and a bookkeeper are sitting at their desks in a reception area. Patients arrive and get checked in at the busy office. The receptionist notices a text message arriving.
SCREEN
Eggs. Guava juice. Toilet paper. Milk.
RECEPTIONIST
That’s weird! I think someone just texted me a grocery list! What should I do? Should I reply that this number is not who they think it is?
(Another patient approaches and the receptionist welcomes the patient and gives forms to be filled out.)
BOOKKEEPER
I’d just ignore it. They’ll figure it out.
(Confirmation text messages from patients arrive over the coming weeks, but occasionally a message other than “YES” or “NO” appears. The receptionist and bookkeeper have become accustomed to these messages and often ignore them.)
SCREEN
Orange juice, ravioli. Eggs. Coffee. Parmesan cheese.
SCREEN
Milk. Lunch meat. Salad stuff.
SCREEN
Salad stuff. Milk. Cereal. Berries.
RECEPTIONIST
Hey, I just got another list. Salads again. They’re getting berries this time. Should I ask them for a muffin? (laughs)
BOOKKEEPER
(laughing) I’d ignore it. You’d think they’d figure it out by now, though. Whoever they are texting is not bringing the food. Haven’t they noticed the groceries never arrive?
RECEPTIONIST
So weird, right? Maybe some kid is messing with us. Yeah, I’ll keep ignoring it, but it’s making me hungry. (laughs)
(Lists of grocery items continue to arrive every few days. The receptionist and bookkeeper have grown accustomed to the lists and have fun joking about them.)
(Almost a year later, two photos arrive in a message. The receptionist looks at the screen and gasps.)
RECEPTIONIST
Take a look at secret shopper! This is embarrassing! Now we’ve got to do something!
BOOKKEEPER
(leans over to look at screen and stifles laughter. In a whisper) Oh my god. Who would send this to us? Maybe they are trying to get our attention.
(The receptionist searches the records for the phone number.)
RECEPTIONIST
I know this lady! She’s brought her kids here forever! I’m going to call her or else I’ll never be able to look at her again!
I invite readers to comment below. Who is texting the dentist? Why? (If you know this story, no spoilers please!)
(You may proceed to Scene 2. It has been published now.)